Your bridesmaids want to make you happy. They want to know exactly what you want, when you want it, and how they can help.

Which is why I wrote The Bridesmaid Handbook:

Bridesmaids say they have one wish, though -- a wish that would make Planning in Peace a lot more realistic. They want you to understand that they can't always get right back to you in 10 minutes when you e-mail, text, IM or all of the above in a single lunch hour.

The Speed of Reply conflict has soured many a bride/bridesmaid relationship, so do yourself and all of your friendships a favor...adjust your expectations about how long it will take some of your bridesmaids to respond to you.

"Remember who I am!" says one bridesmaid. "When have I ever responded to you same-day?"

Good point.

Bridesmaids say they don't want you e-mailing them at work, since many office computers and phones are highly-monitored, and they can get fired for conducting personal business. A rush-rush bride can get her bridesmaid in hot water.

To be fair to you, you're excited and you know they're excited, and you mean no harm by e-blasting your messages and questions for hurry-up responses.

Just keep your Planning Peaceful by sending out messages to the home e-mail addresses your bridesmaids have said they check daily or several times a week, and give them plenty of time for a response. "If you can get back to me by Thursday, that's terrific! Thanks!" A great message to send when your deadline for that particular issue is Saturday.

Bridesmaids say they don't want you to misconstrue their slow responses for non-interest in your day, and they definitely don't want you thinking they're jealous. They just have five fewer hours in the day than they need -- just like you and everyone else -- and they're doing their best! They love you, and they want you to be happy.

But you already know that!