Are you the Competitive one? We started this series with Dr. Gail Saltz's article on whether or not you have a competitive relationship with your groom, but the fact remains that you might be feeling a little bit insecure if you're on a budget, or if your wedding doesn't measure up to the mega-blowout your sister had five years ago.

So let me help you with the most common cause of Competition in the bride's mindset: we're in a recession. We can't afford the kinds of weddings that people could afford a few years ago. If your sister had a $75,000 wedding, and your parents can only help you plan a $30,000 wedding or less, that's just reality and not at all a measure of who deserves more.

So don't allow yourself to feel badly about your sister getting more. It was just a different time.

And frankly, guests have just as great a time at smaller, less elaborate weddings these days. A giant spread of food that's way too much for the group to eat doesn't impress anyone as much as a delightfully detailed, personalized wedding day with great toasts, great music and fun company.

If you're prone to comparing your wedding to other people's, save your own peace and prevent arguments and hurt feelings by keeping your envy under control. Here's a journal exercise for you:

What are the non-financial parts of the day that are going to be really special? (Seeing my groom for the first time in his tux, dancing with my Dad, how gorgeous the gardens are, etc.)

Who are the people I'm so excited to spend time with on the wedding weekend?

THAT'S the big one. Just focus on the fabulous parts of your own wedding day, the people you love, the friends whose newborns you get to meet, the wonderful words of toasts and song lyrics, and you completely remove the element of what other people did at their weddings.

And if the parents are comparing two weddings and being competitive, perhaps with their own friends' daughter's wedding, share this exercise with them, too. Narrowing the view to what's most meaningful in your day shut out all of the 'design pieces' that are so easy to compare and contrast with others.