You know what you'd like for your wedding day, and you have your plan all set. You also know what you'd like your parents and your bridal party members to do...and it may be a lot. You have it all set.

When your Mom or his Mom or anyone else pops up with a suggestion or an offer to help, it might not fit into your existing plans. So, with kindness and appreciation, you have to say No. They understand. They really do.

But what if it happens every time? They're bound to feel disappointed, and some might attribute the term 'control freak' to what is just your organized plan. We wouldn't want that.

So here's your challenge to maintain a peaceful planning group: find ways to say Yes every now and then, or present to them a section of the wedding plans where they can use their ideas. For instance, if you recognize that his mom has heard No a dozen times lately, invite her to submit a list of pictures she would like the photographer to get. They could be family group photos, or a shot of her and her son, a shot of her and her grandkids, and so on.

To keep the peace in a planning group, and to prevent those kinds of negative assumptions from those who might say you're 'stealing all the fun for yourself,' it helps to give everyone something fun to do. Now.

I'm not saying you've done anything wrong. I'd just hate for you to face any built-up resentment, gossip, hurt feelings or other dramas when all you're trying to do is run your wedding plans efficiently. Some brides say, "I was just trying to keep them from spending more money, or from having too much to do!" Those are admirable intentions! And they'll be reminded of that when you invite them into the fun a little sooner than you had planned.

It's an interesting question to ask yourself: are you saying No too often? Please share your thoughts with us in the Comments....

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