You hear it all the time..."She's just jealous" or "Don't pay any attention to the mean things she's saying." But when your sister, your mom, his mom, or anyone else who's being competitive and Mean Girls-like really zings you, it hurts! And it's a rare person who can just ignore it totally, like it never happened.

But here's what you can do for your peace: just feel sorry for them. Because a competitive nature - when it goes to the point of resenting you and trying to bring you down - is the sign of a very unhappy, very unfulfilled person who has some hollow places in her life.

I've struggled in the past with competitive meanies who I felt were stepping down on me, but once I realized that they're feeling small, I changed the image. They were now harmless mini-meanies trying to pull me down with them.

I get steamed, no doubt about it. But once I can click onto that image, and whip up a sense of understanding about what's so lacking in someone who needs to just be mean, I feel a lot better.

It just means they have some growing up to do. And if you don't make them larger than life, that means you get to stay in your peace, and they can just simmer over why they're not able to bring you down. To a competitive, mean person, that translates into 'losing.'