If you're at the start of your wedding planning process, you probably haven't gotten into the thick of the whirlwind of chaos, the stress of other people's input, the rapid-fire communications with your vendors and unforeseen challenges to the plans you originally wanted but are unavailable (like certain kinds of exotic flowers you wanted flown in for your day, but have been burned to a crisp in their native land). You expect a conflict-free experience because everything's going so well now.

Not to jinx you, but some things are going to throw you for a loop. Maybe a sweet friend sends an icy e-mail about the expense of travel to attend your wedding. Or your groom's mother morphs into a steamroller, wanting her choices of songs in the ceremony. It's the shock of these unexpected changes to your expectations that can cause a lot more pain. So keep this in mind: not everything is going to go the way you want it to. So think right now about how you'll keep your sense of calm when a vendor tells you something you want has been discontinued. Decide that friends who e-mail with challenges to your plans aren't trying to wreck your wedding day...they're just wholly focused on their own challenges, such as financial or time constraints. Do a little bit of pre-planning so that you're not thrown by these surprises, you have a realistic mindset that if 95% of what you want happens, then that's a big success, one that a lot of other brides wish for.

Be prepared for twists and turns in your planning, and don't forget that you have a team of experts and loved ones who want you to have the wedding of your dreams.

Remind yourself of that often, and these little poofs of conflict won't send you reeling. It's brides who think they can control everything who turn into miserable messes. You won't let that happen, because you have a plan for planning in peace...