Find some fun things to bond over! Find out what you have in common, from gardening to reading to American Idol. The next time you're at her house, look around to see what's on her bookshelf, what she's planted in the backyard, what's in her DVD collection. You might discover a mutual love of Lisa See's novels, or admire her raised garden bed.

And here's the great part: moms love to be useful. So ask for her advice on how to compost that raised garden bed, or for her favorite varieties of tomato plants. Ask which gardening websites she would recommend, or where she got that fabulous set of gardening tools.

You're not just planning a wedding together. You're preparing for a life together, so show her that you're interested in getting to know her. And that you respect her knowledge, are impressed by her talents, that you'd love to learn a few things from her.

I see the opposite of this all the time, and it makes me shudder: insecure brides trying to dominate the mother, bragging about how great they are at gardening and how their neighbors all envy their tomato plants, blah blah blah. Big mistake. Sure, you might think you're going to impress her into liking you, but that's not what's happening here. If you're just talking about how great you are, his mom gets the opposite message. You're not so great if you have to brag about yourself.

It's not your fault if you have a bit of this tendency. In our competitive business world, it can be second nature to want to portray yourself in an impressive light and be assertive about it. We've kind of lost our reverence for the older generations, and we don't even realize we're coming across as ego-centric. With Twitter, Facebook and other sites we're on constantly, it's accepted to talk about yourself. But to a Mom, it's far better if you say, "I'd like to hear more about how you do things."