Sometimes you just can't be nice. Some bridesmaids and groomsmen can be quite the evil little dishes...sabotaging your plans, failing to deliver payment on time and thus putting the rest of the bridal party into Late Payment and Rush Fee zone, saying awful things to your face and behind your back, and generally just wanting to suck the happiness out of your wedding plans.

The process of slicing these people out of your wedding plans has to be quick and complete, and then you step away from them so that you don't get zapped by the lightning bolt that's surely coming their way.

I always advise the face-to-face talk, or at least a phone chat, but if you're dealing with a jerk, then it's okay to send the e-mail (with a Read Receipt attached so you know they read it) explaining that "it's quite clear that you've lost your interest in participating in the wedding plans, so let's call it official that you've resigned your place in the bridal party. We're confident this will remove the pressure and resentment from all of us, and we hope you agree. Thanks, (you)"

Don't feel like you have to go any further, offering the replacement task trying not to hurt their feelings (why do we do that when these types of people don't care about hurting our feelings?!), and if they respond that they'll come to the wedding, great. If not, good riddance!

You'll be so proud of yourself, and start your marriage off with such a great dose of 'I can handle anything!' when you handle the matter clearly and completely.

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