Don't count on wedding gift money that you expect to get from guests as your Pay-Back Plan for after the wedding.

That's the fastest way to financial ruin, because many guests aren't able to give as generous a wedding gift as you might expect. It pains them to do so, but many guests are cutting down the amount they usually give at family weddings.

So if you know that Aunt Sally and Uncle Chuck gave your sister a whopping $700 as a wedding gift, there's no guarantee that you're getting the same amount. You might expect fairness, but Sally and Chuck expect to pay their mortgage. So they can only do $300. Sorry.

Groups of relatives, friends and colleagues who always conferred with each other in the 'what are you giving?' discussion so that everyone gave close to the same amount are now saying that they're taking a concensus now more than ever, looking for permission to give a bit less. They don't want to be the only ones scaling down the gift amounts.

And some guests are skipping the cash gifts in favor of items from the registry, so you might not get cash gifts at all.

Planning your wedding with a gambling mindset is always a bad idea. So if it's you or your groom who wants to green-light pricy wedding elements on the blind optimism of what you'll receive later, make sure you're both aware that the odds of coming out ahead are very, very slim right now.

To Plan in Peace, without worrying about who's going to give what as a wedding gift, don't go overboard with your spending. And both of you need to get on the same page as far as your expectations of what you will receive for cash wedding gifts. Because even parents who promised to give a few grand as a wedding gift might not have the funds to cover that right now.

Big golden rule for Recession-Era wedding planning: be flexible, and accept that you might not actually get the windfall you expect. Focus on the people, not the money, and spend within your means.

For more details on how to get more wedding for less money, check out my book 1001 Ways to Save Money and Still Have a Dazzling Wedding.