Money causes a lot of tension and fights between couples, so let's work on removing that danger from your relationship.

As you plan the wedding, you're both looking at your wedding budget and your household budget, savings, credit card debt, student loans and any number of other money issues. If cash is tight in your household -- as it is in most these days -- you may find yourselves in a position of sweating every wedding purchase since each item you buy or vendor you book siphons money out of your finite money reserves.

Grooms say they get very angry when their brides buy something big for the wedding, order the best cake possible, pick up those cute little $40 earrings as the bridesmaids' gifts on an impulse buy. And brides have the same "What?!" response when the groom says he just plunked down a chunk of change on something he wanted for the wedding.

Even if it's something you agreed on a long time ago, you have to talk with each other before you make any purchase for the wedding...no matter how small. Yes, we're in an age when you're co-partners, and you never had to check in with your partner before about the purchases you make with your own funds. But these are different times.

When it's bill-paying day for the gas company, cable bill, phone bills, the rent or mortgage, the last thing you want to face when you're doing important life's work is that $300 that's missing out of the household budget because you fell in love with an aisle runner and 'forgot' to tell your groom about it.

So full disclosure is of the utmost imprtance now. Brides have said to me, "But if I told him about the aisle runner, he would have said No." Um, yeah. He would have. Which means it's not right for you to sneak in there. "But it's so gorgeous, and the wedding coordinator said it's a steal at $300! Normally, it's $1,200, so I did a good job!"

Your groom isn't going to see it that way. What he thinks is that you snuck one by him. Which you did.

So even if you see a wedding purchase as the smartest budget move ever, a 75%-off sale, a steal, don't make a move without your groom's okay.

Because the money comes from somewhere, and especially now, it's more important to have electricity than it is to have a designer aisle runner.

Don't fret about having to 'report' to your groom about spending your money. You've just arrived at a very important pre-wedding Master Class: open communication is key when it comes to your money. Especially when you have this wedding to plan together.

Sit down to talk about how you'll handle your fixed expenses at the same time as you're planning the wedding. Talk about how you'll prepare home-cooked meals five nights a week instead of your usual dinners out at restaurant as a temporary strategy in order to have an extra $400 a week to put toward the wedding. Your groom might offer to skip a few rounds of golf per month to have an extra $300 to put toward the wedding.

You HAVE to sign up for this Master Class, because times will come in the future when you have to co-sacrifice some of the indulgences of your daily life to meet an important financial goal. Sneaking purchases hurts trust. Showing your groom that you can cut out every other mani-pedi in order to pay for the favors demonstrates your maturity, self-control and priorities, and grooms say they admire their future wives' dedication to protecting their future financial health. "I admire her so much" is a far better reaction from him than, "She just spends and spends and spends," right?

The sacrifices you figure out together could be temporary for the wedding season, or you might embrace this smart money strategy as a plan for your life together. Jean Chatzky's new book "The Difference" shows how wealthy people are savers, and I highly recommend that book to create a money mindset for your marriage.

Now's the time to communicate about money and show your financiual savvy to one another...you'll be so proud of each other when you make it a shared effort.

Find out more about how to 'beat the system' with your wedding budget: 1001 Ways to Save Money and Still Have a Dazzling Wedding.