Okay, it's time for a little self-test, since you might unknowingly be creating some of the stress you're feeling right now. I know, it's really hard to analyze your own actions, since you rightfully feel like you *have* to take extra action to accomplish important tasks by deadlines if this wedding is going to come together well. But trust me...it's better to check your methods now *before* things spiral out of control.

Here's your exercise: One the right-hand side of a piece of paper, write down the things you're doing to motivate your bridal party, groom, parents or vendors, and add an 's' after every verb. Like this:

calls the Maid of Honor every day to ask her how the bridesmaids are doing with their size cards.

e-mails the groom six times about choosing the cake design.

tells the bridesmaids what kind of shower to throw, right down to the menu and the favors list

tells the groom's family they can only invite 20 people to the wedding, since money is tight and we have so many friends to invite.

When your list is done -- and this is the tough but rewarding part -- go back and write in on the left of each line the phrase What kind of person.

So you get

What kind of person calls the Maid of Honor every day to ask her how the bridesmaids are doing with their size cards?

What kind of person e-mails the groom six times about choosing the cake design?

What kind of person tells the bridesmaids what kind of shower to throw, right down to the menu and the favors list?

What kind of person tells the groom's family they can only invite 20 people to the wedding, since money is tight and we have so many friends to invite?

Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch.

Your answers, as if you're looking at someone else's behaviors, are going to point out some pretty big mistakes that you're making, which is GOOD, since you'll be able to correct these things now. Your answers might have been "a pushy person," "someone with no self control," "a demanding person, "a control freak," "a greedy person," "someone with no consideration of others' time." These aren't you! I used dramatic examples here to make a point...your actions might be far less offensive, but they still point out what you need to change.

Journal out your feelings about this exercise and ask yourself. "What kind of bride do I want to be?" and "What kind of person do I want to be?" and you'll stop yourself from drifting into these all-too-common mistakes before you cause big stress for yourself.

And cheers to you for taking this difficult test!