As the bride, you probably expect that you should have everything in the wedding the way you and the groom have planned it...but little things keep getting thrown out of whack. Like a bridal party member who can't get into town until the wedding day. Or a particular kind of flower not being available for your centerpieces. And at this time, these things become VERY big in your mind. You forget how much you ARE getting your way and focusing on these snafus way too much. I've done it myself. It's just something the mind does on its own...but you can reverse it so that it doesn't overtake your entire wedding planning process.

First, STOP saying you don't get anything you want, stop talking about these problems to everyone, and stop ruminating.

Next, look to the proof that you ARE getting 99% of what you want for the wedding day. Look at the e-mails you've gotten from the bridal party members who will be there on time. Look at the 400 other kinds of flowers you are getting. The guests who ARE coming to the wedding. I've created a special file folder of positive e-mails I've received from my friends, relatives, guests and vendors -- a 'Good News' file if you will, and I read through them whenever someone lets me down or a plan goes awry. I AM getting most of what I've imagined for my wedding day.

I've always said 'the bad stuff is louder.' So don't give it a megaphone. Little things are going to go wrong, and some people are going to let you down, and sometimes those things affect other things in the grand puzzle that is your wedding.

You can save your mindset and return to Planning in Peace when you set yourself up with a positive file that shows you how fortunate you are to have so much going well. And when the groom hits the wall with a let-down of his own, show him your file so that he can adjust to the right perspective as well.

Sometimes you just need a black-and-white (or blue-and-white, as the case may be) reminder that SO much is going your way, and you're very fortunate for all of it.