Over on my Ask the Wedding Etiquette Expert message board, I just answered a question from a bride who was worried about a guest of hers misbehaving at the wedding.

We all have that guest, or guests, who we worry might get drunk, say rude things, act obnoxious and generally steal the spotlight from us. (I have one or two of those myself!). And this can be the Wedding Nightmare we fear the most. So much planning has gone into the day, what if our ArchEnemy is successful in ruining it?

Check out my response to this bride for the #1 Return to Peace: other people have your back.

Asking a mean-spirited person to behave well at your wedding often just fuels the fire. They can be happy that they have you nervous (evil, isn't it?). And there's also the clueless person who doesn't realize that being drunk and loud is improper at a formal wedding. She thinks everything is a keg party. Whatever your brand of trouble-maker, you can apply the insights on the board to feel better. You can't worry about what people MIGHT do. You have no control over that. But you can breathe easier now knowing that you can take smart steps to remove the problem IF that person misbehaves. There's no reason to fear when you have a plan.

So again, make the choice to focus on all of the guests you're looking forward to seeing, to dancing with, to hugging, to introducing to your new husband and his family. Those are the real gems in your life. That's a far better thing to think about every day.

And in my longtime experience as a wedding expert, brides who rose above any guests' misbehavior and *didn't* start crying or arguing with that guest, were seen as gracious and admirable by all the other guests. They were proud of themselves, their grooms were proud of them, the in-laws were proud of them, and so that misbehaving guest made the bride look EVEN BETTER by giving her a chance to show off her ability to take the high road. Something to think about...