You've been nice. You've invited the mothers to help with the wedding plans. You've added a few things to the ceremony to make one of the moms happy. You said okay to a few extra guests of theirs....and they take it one step too far. It might be a song added to your playlist, a change made to your menu...it might not even have anything to do with the wedding, such as claiming your summer vacation for a family getaway that his parents have already booked ["Surprise!"]. Whatever the form, someone has taken advantage of your nice demeanor and generosity. You didn't ask to have your boundaries trampled. You didn't ask to be in this position, and it's especially bad when the groom has spent a few weeks keeping that summer vacation grab a secret from you. NO parent should ever put a bride or groom in that position....EVER.

So where does this leave you? You can't turn back time and un-do the inconsiderate, grabby thing a parent said or did. So how do you handle it from here? Actions speak louder than words. Now, with the next few 'requests' they put in while they still think you're clueless, you respond with, "No, that doesn't fit in with the plans that (groom) and I have discussed. But thanks for suggesting it." Just don't give in to their requests so easily anymore....they're establishing a dominance pattern over you, so you have to take a few firm stands to keep your plans as you want them. They need to hear a simple and polite No sometimes, which is far healthier for you to say now, rather than stew over how you 'gave in' or stress out your fiance while you take out your frustration on him. [Yes, he should have had your back, but haven't we all been blindsided and then found it too late or too awkward to say something?]

Bottom line: you're not going to be 'trained' to go along with everything a parent wants. They may be struggling with such a big change right now, but change is good. For everyone. So say No with a smile when they've gone too far. They'll learn in good time that you will not be bossed around. But you don't have to be aggressive about it.