Over on the Ask the Wedding Etiquette Expert message board, we've discussed some pretty heinous bridesmaid behavior, along with heinous friend behavior and rude relatives. Sometimes, the infraction is so severe -- like a bridesmaid confessing love for the groom! -- that you won't want her in your life anymore...let alone the bridal party.

Firing her is easy. You just say, "After that outburst, I realize that you just don't have my happiness in mind, so I'm going to have to remove you from the bridal party." You could be all class and offer to pay for her bridesmaid dress and other expenses [it's good karma], or you could just cut ties with one well-written e-mail. She'll cause a big drama and lots of gossip, but it's far more dangerous to your peace to keep this toxic friend in your life.

Sometimes, an added gift of your wedding is removing the people who show more obviously than ever that they don't care about you or anyone else.

But it still hurts...

You have a history with this person, and in the past, it might have been a great history. This is a friend that you loved for many years, who may have been super-supportive of you during tough times...but she's changed. And you're going to grieve the loss of the friend you used to know. When your anger subsides, you're going to be quite sad about the fact that you lost that person a while ago. The person you knew and loved couldn't possibly do such hurtful things to you now. People change and move in different directions, and the glue of a past friendship can wear away. And of course you'll be sad about losing your old friend. What falls away is the value you held of that relationship the way you remember it.

So allow yourself to grieve. Write it out in a journal and give yourself time. Don't stay mad forever...the stages of grief will move you through anger and sadness and denial and back to sadness. It's a long road that *many* brides and grooms experience during their wedding planning time. In any time of great change, some things are lost. That's the nature of change. So this lost friendship is an essential fall-away, and you'll soon find that your feelings of sadness are replaced by a deep sense of being proud of yourself for not accepting the heinous treatment of anyone, that you love yourself enough to cut loose the damaging friendship and only welcome good people in your life.

You deserve better than what that person has chosen to become...