It's so frustrating when someone criticizes you or argues with you, and you're taken by surprise, you respond as best as possible, and then you spend hours after the discussion stewing over what you *should* have said. You're stuck replaying the conversation, imagining yourself being more assertive, wishing you really put her in her place...and she's off at Bloomingdales trying on new cashmere sweaters with not a care in the world.

Here's your key to solving this Peace-Stealer: Stop the swirl of thoughts with, "I did the best I could. I said what came to mind." The blind-side critique is meant to render you speechless. You're not in a self-defense mindframe, so of course you're not going to have great comebacks. And the fact that you don't have an arsenal of vicious insults means you're a good person. So let go of re-living the altercation...even if you said the world's most ideal comeback, it still wouldn't change the outcome. That critical person is always going to be critical and mean. And you're always going to be the person who doesn't bark out insulting counter-attacks. You're just too kind-hearted for that...and that's just wonderful.