You know the old saying...no need for me to finish it here.

A strange thing happens when the multi-faceted task of wedding planning stretches your brain in too many directions and you're overwhelmed with tasks and others' input...you can start to guess at what's behind other people's behavior and comments. If a bridesmaid seem snippy or doesn't return calls, you might assume that she's bitter about the wedding since she's single, and maybe she's still hung up on that loser ex-boyfriend of hers, so that's why she's not returning your calls. While you're getting steamed over her behavior, she's actually off at a business conference in Aspen and is working her butt off while her boss is micromanaging her.

I read a wonderful passage in a book -- and I wish I could remember the author! -- but she summed up the antidote to assuming things. It was late-night and her daughter was three hours late getting home. She could 'paint' her situation as 'mother pacing frantically while daughter is surely in the hospital getting facial reconstruction surgery, and the police were certain to show up at her door with their hats in their hands' or she could 'paint' that moment in time as 'mother sitting in chair awaiting the safe return of her daughter.' Assumption is a horrible 'painter,' the creator of horrific scenarios that throw you into a tailspin. So try to 'paint' a narrowed-down description of what's going on in the moment without ending the sentence with a negative explanation. For instance...

If your bridesmaid isn't returning your calls, your new message could be 'Bridemaid with busy life needs a few days to return calls.'

If your future in-laws were a little bit icy to you when you attended a family dinner, your new message could be, 'in-laws were having a bad day' instead of 'they hate the idea of us getting married.'

Boil it down to the facts. The bridesmaid does have a busy life, and the in-laws were having a bad day. Sorry to sound harsh here, but it needs to be said: when people act distant or snappy, it's not always about you. And that's great news...a realization that can keep you from causing a fresh, new problem on top of their existing issues.