Grooms today are full planning partners in weddings, and as much as they value being involved with the plans, they don't want to talk about the wedding nonstop. And they definitely don't want to walk in from work after a long day, kick back to relax, and have you pounce with a long list of wedding tasks that have to be done NOW.

If you want your wedding planning process to be a peaceful one, and to really enjoy co-planning with your fiance, you'll need to rein in your enthusiasm and remember that Timing is Everything.

Grooms say they're more than happy to talk about the wedding, but they can't just mentally switch gears into planning mode. They appreciate some advance notice, and especially a request of "How about we spend a little bit of time after dinner to work on the invitations?" Grooms who write me say they're going to respond better to:

1. Advance notice
2. Knowing *exactly* what you want to talk about. They get nervous when you say "let's talk about the wedding." They'd rather get the topic of the evening, preferably one topic.
3. The right to say No, without you pouting or taking it personally.

This last one is a big one, since grooms *want* you to enjoy the wedding planning, but they love you too much to fake enthusiasm or give you a half-hearted effort. Sometimes, grooms say, they just can't focus.

So keep the peace by accepting that No, which is a very respectful and loving thing to do. You can always do the invitations tomorrow.