Don’t dwell on it.

That can be pretty tough advice when you’ve just had an argument with your bridesmaid, the florist said that your décor for the ceremony is skimpy, or your bridesmaids are bickering over the choice of their dress. If you’re a Ruminator, the conflict can last in your head long after the discussion has ended…and you hang on to the stress of it for hours, maybe days.

Grooms say they wish their brides would just let it go already. Why stew over an obnoxious comment? It happened. It’s done. Move on, already. And then of course we get mad at our grooms because they’re not being comforting. And so it goes…

So many brides are like this…they’re problem-solvers, so that one comment by the florist starts a chain reaction of thoughts and new possibilities for the ceremony décor. Pretty soon, it’s a symphony of thoughts and no sleep at night.

So here’s your No Dwelling secret: write it down. Give yourself 20 minutes to scrutinize that yuck conversation, write down all the witty comebacks you could have delivered, and write down an action list of the three things you will do tomorrow to solve the problem. For the bridesmaids’ bickering over the gowns, your list might be:
1. Lay down the law: no strapless dresses.
2. Send them links to the three dresses *I* like from their too-big possibilities list
3. End the money fight by making those three dresses under $150.

Then busy yourself with something fun and non-wedding-related, like calling your niece to hear about her dance recital, play with your dog (who has been neglected while you do all this wedding stuff), go through your lingerie arsenal and pick out what you’re going to wear for your fiancé tonight. You get the picture. Your mind can’t lock on a negative thing if you’re feeding it lots of new positive things, so release the Dwell onto a piece of paper, and get your peace back.