One of the biggest serenity-stealers is when a parent or a bridesmaid or even your groom makes a 'suggestion' for the wedding, and you feel trapped. How do you say No without seeming controlling, or without hurting their feelings? You want your in-laws to be involved, but they're suggesting some things that are totally against what you have in mind for your big day. Guests are asking if they can bring their kids. Your wedding coordinator is pushing her choice of band over your choice of deejay.

Not knowing how to say No puts you up against a wall. If you cave and say Yes, you'll have regrets that can stay with you for years. If you say No the wrong way, people get offended, and that can stay with you for years.

So here's a great book to help you learn some strategies for the best ways to say No and be at peace with it, even like yourself better for mastering the art of assertiveness. It's "The Book of No," by Susan Newman, which offers tons of ways to say a proper and peaceful No in many different situations. It'll be of great use now and onward into your future.

It's going to be tough to say No to your parents the first time, but it gets easier after that.

If you need the skill now, before you have a chance to read the book, one of my favorite methods when you need to say No is, "Hmmm, that's interesting. But I'm not sure it would work with the other plans we have for the (cocktail hour/reception/after-party). Thanks for suggesting it, though!" A little passive? Yes, but it gets the job done. And you've just saved yourself the stress of "Let me think about it and get back to you." Avoidance only prolongs the stress, because that person will expect you to get back to them. And don't pin it on your groom, saying, "Let me talk to (groom) about it" or "I don't think (groom) would like that." That's not fair to your man, and that also leads to arguments between the two of you.

Pretty soon, No will be a great tool in your arsenal, and you'll be more at peace every time someone makes one of those 'suggestions.'