Planning in Peace: Sharon Naylor's blog to being a harmonious bride at iVillage.com

You can never get enough reminders of the simple steps it takes to experience more happiness in your life. Somehow, in the hectic pace of our lives, we forget to appreciate how much we have, the people we love, how good things really are. So pick up my next recommended book Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill, and find out the little shifts in mindset that you can make now, to be happier with what's already going on around you. Isn't it amazing that we *forget* to be happy?! This book has some Buddhist insights, so keep that in mind as you consider this book for your reading shelf. Again, you might find a gem of insight, even if you're not Buddhist.

The second book in my collection of Recommended Reading is one that I'm enjoying right now...with so many thoughts and To-Do's swirling in my head, the title of this one caught me right away: Instant Karma. This is just a collection of quick little acts you can take to get your mind off of the wedding, do something nice for someone else that only takes a moment, correct your own course, and have a little bit of fun. I'm just flipping it open and smiling at the suggestion I land on, and while some of the karma suggestions are confusing (buy a handbag on eBay instead of paying retail?), this is a fun little book to have around. It definitely gets you in the Now.

Today starts a new series of books that I recommend for returning you to Planning in Peace. As with any book, you may find a gem or two that stays with you, or you will be profoundly educated and able to shift yourself away from worrying and stressing about every little thing. These are some of the books that I found helpful as my own wedding approached, and it's my hope that they bring you some relief as well...

Starting with book #1, I'm recommending Five Good Minutes in the Evening, which gives you a bunch of great little ideas for chilling out, connecting with your sweetie, removing the stress of the day, transitioning into rest time, and sleeping better. This is one book in the Five Good Minutes series, which I also recommend. Even with a time crunch, you have 5 minutes to try something new and potentially relaxing, right?

 

You can't control the weather, of course, but many brides and grooms find themselves compulsively checking the Weather.com site to see if it will rain, snow, be cold or be unbearably hot on the wedding day. We all want that perfect day...and the report in that little square, projected as far as 10 days away, can either elate us or send us into a spiral of despair. No one can predict the weather totally accurately, as Mother Nature has a mind of her own.

But what you CAN do is create alternate plans to ensure that your day will be covered and comfortable no matter what. Talk to your site manager about how quickly the outdoor ceremony setup can be moved into the ballroom. At my own wedding site, I know they can magically transport everything indoors in 45 minutes, and then have the ballroom with all fully set tables arranged during the hour of the cocktail party. If we can't take photos outside, I've picked out sites at my home and at the reception hall where the backdrops indoors will be perfect.

When you imagine your plan B fully, and will be happy with whatever may happen that day, you eliminate the stress of watching the storm clouds and clicking on weather sites like your life depends on it.

You have to give a little to get a little. If you're in a situation where an in-law has requested something for the wedding that is slightly different than the way you envisioned it, why not make a little change so that you're both happy? It'll be worth it in the long run if you make every effort to include his side of the family, whenever it's a detail or a plan that doesn't eliminate what you really want. Case in point...my future mother-in-law wants to enact a traditional Polish ritual of presenting us with bread, salt and wine as symbols of good luck. But in their family, this ritual is done when the bride and groom walk into the reception. Looking at the entry celebration, that's when everyone's introduced into the room, and Joe and I have our First Dance. It would wreck the whole entry moment to do the bread, salt and wine thing right away. So, here's what we came up with...we'll be introduced into the room, we'll dance our first dance (to 'At Last' by Etta James), do the parents' dances, and THEN she can do the bread, salt and wine thing before the Best Man's toast instead of after the toasts as we had originally planned. She doesn't have to be nervous about her presentation for long, it's done at the start of the reception, and everyone's happy. It just takes a little bit of shuffling to get an in-law's traditions into your day, and everyone can continue Planning in Peace knowing that their most important rituals are included.