When working with your groom, as well as with your entire wedding planning team, you can experience a tremendous advantage -- and prevent wedding stress -- by using techno-tools to help you keep organized, connect with your vendors, once again contact that bridesmaid who hasn't paid her dress deposit, and instantly GPS the location of that great flower shop you chanced upon.

Wedding couples have been using technology in various ways, but now there are even MORE ways to cut your stress, plan more efficiently, track down texts between you and a vendor to clear up miscommunication and prevent having to pay a deposit again [a common wedding nightmare.]

I'm loving my new Nokia 7205 Intrigue phone, and I know you're going to want a chance to win not just one, but TWO fabulous new phones...that you can use to call *everyone* from your FREE honeymoon that you've won from Nokia! We have a new contest just for you -- and also for your marrieds, parents, bridal party and everyone else you know -- at www.techsavvybride.com.

Here are some of my top tips for how planning with technology can cut your wedding planning stress:

Wedding Planning Tips

• Share Updates: Allow long-distance friends and relatives to get in on the fun wedding details by posting quick and easy updates to Twitter or Facebook right from your mobile phone.
• Stay Organized: Organization is key to saving money and limiting wedding stress! Your phone can be your ultimate wedding organizer. For example, with the Nokia 7205 Intrigue, available at Verizon Wireless, you can lose the big, heavy wedding binder and access all of your important phone numbers, calendar and images of your dress, your venue and your dream flowers in one light device.
• Map it Out: Use free online mapping sites such www.weddingmapper.com to create your wedding map. This handy tool allows you to create a personalized map of your ceremony, reception, hotels, etc for out of town guests.
• Create your Virtual You to Save Time: Build a virtual model of yourself online at My Virtual Model (MVM.com) to try on your outfits for every bridal occasion. Invite your wedding party including bridesmaids and mother of the bride to do the same. Doing it all online instead of traveling to stores saves time and budget.
• Streamline Your Guest List: Skip the traditional reply cards and invite your guests to R.S.V.P. online through your personal wedding web site. Your guest list will be easy to manage and you can check for updates anytime from your mobile device or at home!

Technology saving you this much time and keeping you organized is sure to make your wedding planning process smoother -- and couples say they love planning together using their cell phones and the websites and podcasts they can access while on the move.

Speaking of podcasts, my new episode of 'Here Come the Moms' just launched at www.weddingpodcastnetwork, so check it out. And get ready to get lucky when you enter the Nokia 7205 Intrigue contest! 

Sneaking wedding purchases behind your groom's back is a big Don't. You've worked out a budget, you've partnered on the hiring and the details, and one day....while you're out at the florist's boutique...you decide to just throw in a little something extra. For just a few hundred dollars more.

"It's my special day, so he won't mind if I just add these gardenias to the centerpieces...just a few dozen of them."

He might not mind the gardenias, but he IS going to mind your sneaking something in behind his back. It's not a gardenia issue. It's a trust issue.

And it's a much bigger deal that you can ever imagine. Especially if your guy -- like most guys -- has a trust issue.

So many brides think that being the bride gives them license to break some rules here and there. They think they can be bossy or snappy or demanding, but no...actually, they can't. Because people remember. And your groom is going to remember this sneaky purchase, because it's going to sting when he finds out about it. And he will find out about it when the bill comes in and knocks you both over.

There's no safe item to sneak into the wedding plans. It's not a good idea to abide by the 'don't ask for permission' rule, because even though you might gain those gardenias, you lose a few levels of trust with your partner. And that can be a long road back...

Share the stories you've heard about *other* wedding couples who faced this...because we know YOU would never make a sneaky purchase behind your groom's back.... :)

For more information, click here.

It's His Day Too.

Even if you have the sweetest groom in the world, one who says, "It's HER day" to all who ask, the truth is that your wedding day is equally important to your groom.

Grooms tell me they feel very frustrated when they feel their ideas are not being heard nor respected by their brides, the parents, even the vendors...and their frustrations only grow when they have no 'safe way' to express how they feel. "Face it, I'm not gonna call my guy friends and complain because my bride is making all the decisions about the menu."

And no groom of any quality is going to complain to his mother about you calling all the shots.

So make it a rule that the old 'It's MY day' expectation goes out the window. 'Fire' yourself as the boss of the day, and accept that you share the top spot with your groom. If you've had a tight hold of the reins so far, now's the time for you to show your character, apologize to your groom, and let him know the coast is clear for all of his wedding plan suggestions.

It's never too late to extend your hand in equality to your groom.

When you get to this realization, this knowing that you're both co-creators of this special day and all the days after it, you join the ranks of those women who give their marriages a better chance at succeeding. You become someone who's happily married.

All of those brides who hold onto the reins, even going so far as to say to friends and relatives, "Oh, he doesn't know what he's doing" about a groom who (horror!) is within earshot, humilated....let's just say they have dark days ahead.

Share your stories here. How did you invite your groom to jump into the wedding plans? Did you apologize for being too bossy in the past? Grooms, how long did it take for you to feel safe in making suggestions?

Tag your wedding planning sessions to something fun, and you'll be surprised at how uplifted and enthusiastic your groom will be.

Grooms say they like a routine, some structure, the complete absence of feeling ambushed when you want to discuss the wedding and they're not in the same mindframe you are. Surprise! I poured some wine, and now we're going to do the guest list! might just get you one of those resigned sighs you hate from him. Simply put: no one wants to be pushed into a big project when they're not feeling up to it.

So here's your solution: talk with your groom about your wish to create a routine for brief planning sessions [TELL him what 'brief' means to you..."20 minutes" or "a half hour"...guys say they want to know what you expect so they can more easily commit to what you want from them], and share my idea: "I read on Sharon Naylor's blog that the new trend is tagging wedding planning sessions to the TV shows we watch regularly."

No, you're not building the guest list while trying to follow the intricate plot twists and turns of Lost. You have to pick the right programming. Let's look at the NBC Thursday-night lineup. "We'll watch My Name is Earl, TiVo Kath and Kim while we work on the wedding plans, and then watch The Office!" Maybe you'll even want to do 'Wedding Plans, Part Deux' after The Office.

Your guy knows planning time is limited, you're both in lifted moods from all the laughing you've been doing all night, tasks get done efficiently, maybe you make popcorn or hot cocoa or pour wine for your TV night, and it all turns into a fabulous routine that works for both of you. It's something to think about, and perhaps try on Thursday nights (or whichever night your must-see TV is on!).

Let us know how this plan works for you! Leave us a comment below...

While no one's going to argue with you that your bridal party is slow to respond, a bridesmaid may be difficult to work with, the groom seems to care more about his Fantasy Football stats than the wedding plans, you're not stuck in your frustrations. You can lessen them in intensity by looking at them in a whole new way.

Ask yourself What are the facts here?

Let's take the groom and his obsession with football, which seems to you to be a sign of disinterest in the wedding, a selfish indulgence in a juvenile hobby, an insensitivity to the amount of work you're doing, a devaluing of you and what you find important, and a control-freak manuever to do things on HIS time instead of yours. Whew! That's a big mess. But what are the facts here?

1. You asked your groom to get his parents' guest list from them, and he hasn't yet delivered.

2. You asked your groom if he would like to accompany you to a bridal show on Sunday, and he doesn't want to go. After all, the games are on.

3. You asked your groom to pick songs to add to the band's playlist, and when you walk into the room, he's on ESPN instead of compiling song lists.

Those are facts. Remove the insinuations that he doesn't love you, he doesn't care about the wedding, and he's leaving the hard work to you. Those are judgments. Not facts.

Boiling the facts down further, you get 'My groom hasn't yet delivered the things I've requested.'

Now, with the hurtful assumptions off the table, you can look at the facts and accept that your groom isn't in a mindset to work on the wedding during his free time on weekends. So there's the key to your solution: give the guy the weekends off, and be clear that you find it extremely important to get these specific tasks done. When does he have the time, so that you're not constantly frustrated that he's not delivering in the timeframe you've set.

Yes, that's a fact. A hard one to face, too. Your exercise in looking at facts has just revealed that you're setting timetables that don't work for him. So you can admit that in your honest, open chat with him. "I realize that weekends aren't good for you, so can we choose a weeknight to work on wedding plans?" Thursdays might be better for him.Perhaps you can plan to sit down every other Thursday night to work on wedding tasks. Fact-finding often points out where you're doing something wrong so that you can adjust and approach what he is or isn't doing -- facts only! -- to get to a more harmonious partnership on the wedding plans.

I asked a groom recently to boil down the facts of this same conflict he's having with his bride, and his answers were:

1. She springs plans on me and wants me to deliver immediately. I get an e-mail at work, and she wants it done by the end of the day.

2. She asks me to miss out on the social and downtime events that she knows I value and need for my wellbeing on the weekends.

3. She says I don't care about the wedding.

Once HE recorded the facts, stripped of assumptions and resentment, he was more willing to set a non-football day to make an action plan to get some wedding tasks done.

What are the facts about the conflicts you're having now? What are the facts underneath your planning frustrations? And what can you adjust to get to the pojnt of right action and goal achievement?

Everybody does it. Not just stressed-out brides and parents who are forking out thousands of dollars for a very important one-day celebration. In-laws, bridal party members, vendors...everyone has the ability (if not the tendency) to over-react. We live in a pressure cooker world -- our bosses are on our butts, time has seemed to speed up, and even with all of our technology, it seems like we just can't get things done quickly enough.

So that all adds up to short tempers and blowing things out of proportion.

Whatever you're stressed about right now, take a minute to set it in front of you and really observe it. How bad is it really? Is this stressor going to prevent you from getting married? Is it going to end a friendship? Once you've cleared away the big risks, here's your plan to return to a better mindset:

Ask yourself:

1. What are the positives in this? Waiting an extra two weeks for bridesmaid size cards could put you in holiday weekend sale zone, and you might even discover a dress you like even better.

2. How could this be worse? Some brides don't hear from their bridesmaids AT ALL. Some have mothers who have passed away and aren't even here to BE overbearing. Make a list of the 20 ways your situation could be far, far worse and don't be afraid to get creative.

3. How can I react better to the situation at hand? That's usually going to take some patience, which is in short supply for most of us. We don't like waiting, and we don't like waiting for things we FEEL should be taken care of already. So repeat this saying: "All things will happen in their own best time." That just gets you to a mode of acceptance, which is often more than enough to take the pressure away.

As the bride, you probably expect that you should have everything in the wedding the way you and the groom have planned it...but little things keep getting thrown out of whack. Like a bridal party member who can't get into town until the wedding day. Or a particular kind of flower not being available for your centerpieces. And at this time, these things become VERY big in your mind. You forget how much you ARE getting your way and focusing on these snafus way too much. I've done it myself. It's just something the mind does on its own...but you can reverse it so that it doesn't overtake your entire wedding planning process.

First, STOP saying you don't get anything you want, stop talking about these problems to everyone, and stop ruminating.

Next, look to the proof that you ARE getting 99% of what you want for the wedding day. Look at the e-mails you've gotten from the bridal party members who will be there on time. Look at the 400 other kinds of flowers you are getting. The guests who ARE coming to the wedding. I've created a special file folder of positive e-mails I've received from my friends, relatives, guests and vendors -- a 'Good News' file if you will, and I read through them whenever someone lets me down or a plan goes awry. I AM getting most of what I've imagined for my wedding day.

I've always said 'the bad stuff is louder.' So don't give it a megaphone. Little things are going to go wrong, and some people are going to let you down, and sometimes those things affect other things in the grand puzzle that is your wedding.

You can save your mindset and return to Planning in Peace when you set yourself up with a positive file that shows you how fortunate you are to have so much going well. And when the groom hits the wall with a let-down of his own, show him your file so that he can adjust to the right perspective as well.

Sometimes you just need a black-and-white (or blue-and-white, as the case may be) reminder that SO much is going your way, and you're very fortunate for all of it.