Today starts a new series on one of the toughest, most stressful parts of planning your wedding when family is involved. What do you do when your mom or mom-in-law are WAY too invested in the plans, push their ideas on you, drop a guilt-bomb on you every time they want something their way, and pout when you don't give in? Dealing with the moms comes with a huge amount of baggage, since no matter how old you are, you still have a tug of wanting to make your mom happy. She's excited about the wedding, after all, so it's tough to say No when her ideas clash with yours. But you have to...because not only will you lose your most-wanted elements of the wedding day, but -- even worse -- you'll allow a pattern of her bossing you around. Give in now, and you may not ever be able to rein her in. Yikes!

So today's tip for getting back to Peaceful Planning with the moms is this: learn how to put on the brakes. Up until now, you may have allowed many of Mom's ideas since you were trying to be nice [People Pleaser alert!]. But it's just getting out of hand. So call her or visit her and say this: "Mom, I love it that we're getting to plan the wedding together, and I know you're excited that we'll have (menu item), (song), (flower type in the centerpieces), and (religious reading in the ceremony.) So let's hold off on talking about any more plans for a while so that (groom) and I can talk about what we want for the rest of the wedding plans, okay?" Just establish a stall. Make it a few weeks. And if she still calls or e-mails with ideas, tell her you'll get to those ideas next month. YOU have to set good boundaries, and you can do so with a smile. Very often, it's not what the moms are suggesting, it's how often they're suggesting something that freaks you out.

Moms may not admit it, but they tend to throw a ton of ideas at you before The Other Mom has a chance to do so. It all comes from wanting to stay Top Mom in your life. So keep that in mind, and practice good empathy when Mom 'forgets' and keeps those ideas coming. A gentle reminder is all that's needed to buy you some time and return you to peace. Tell your groom that you've established a Breathing Period so that he can slow down his mom too.

Click here for more tips on how to handle your mom and his:

Handling Meddling Moms #2

Handling Meddling Moms #3

Handling Meddling Moms #4

It happens to almost every parent...they start off fine, communicating well with you, listening to your ideas, staying within the boundaries of what they're planning and helping with -- and then they start to slide, Little by little, they get more demanding, a little more entitled to their ideas, a little more difficult. So stop that downward spiral with a gentle reminder of 'I'm really enjoying sharing the planning with you, Mom. I was just looking back through my notes from when we discussed what you'd be working on, and I remembered that the favors are actually his mother's job. I just didn't want you to do any extra work or waste your time researching those." That's all it takes to correct their course. Start off with praise, and then move into that gentle correction where you express that you're just looking out for them.

Remember, parents aren't trying to wreck your day. They just get a little over-excited and go a little too far. When you take a second to rein them in now, you prevent bigtime stress from getting mad at them for over-reaching their boundaries AND mad at yourself for being a doormat and not saying anything.

Are you having trouble returning your parents to normal? Share your stories in the Comments, and I can help!