I love Dr. Niven's book series, and this book never fails to get me back in the right perspective. He takes a little bit of common sense and mixes it with fascinating scientific studies, and you'll feel better after just a few pages. Here's a description from Amazon:

Scientists and academics have spent entire careers investigating what makes people happy. But hidden in obscure scholarly journals and reports, their research is all too often inaccessible to ordinary people. Now the bestselling author of the 100 Simple Secrets series distills the scientific findings of over a thousand of the most important studies on happiness into easy-to-digest nuggets of advice. Each of the hundred practices is illustrated with a clear example and illuminated by a straightforward explanation of the science behind it to show you how to transform a ho-hum existence into a full and happy life.

• Believe in yourself: Across all ages, and all groups, a solid belief in one's own abilities increases life satisfaction by about 40 percent, and makes us happier both in our home lives and in our work lives.

• Turn off your TV: Watching too much TV can triple our hunger for more possessions, while reducing our personal contentment by about 5 percent for every hour a day we watch.

Get your copy here. 

I've been a fan of Daylle Deanna Schwartz for ages, and now I'm so excited to share with you her new book, which is going to help you so much if you're a 'Nice Girl' and have that People-Pleaser mentality that even Oprah has said she's struggled with. As you plan your wedding, you're probably going to feel torn between being 'Nice' and flipping out when a mom or bridesmaid makes 'requests' or gives you a tough time. People-Pleasers suffer from a lot of resentment and simmer over conflicts for a long time, so pick up Daylle's book and save yourself with the knowledge that Nice Girls Can Finish First! You'll use these skills in your marriage, at work, in life...which is a fabulous thing!

Many women believe that nice girls get less. They see being nice as a weakness, not as the strength it can be. But there's a BIG difference between being nice and being a People Pleaser or DoorMat. The People Pleasing kind of nice girls find it difficult to be expressive. They often feel used and taken for granted by others. These "nice girls" constantly mold themselves to be liked and often don't get taken seriously. So does this mean "nice girls" have to bare their claws to keep the cruel world from crushing them before they even know it?

As a former DoorMat/consummate People Pleaser, Daylle says, NO! Women do not have to be demanding and tough to get what they want. They can assert their desires and feelings with a soft, friendly tone and a smile, and still be liked and respected, what Daylle calls a Nice Girl on Top. NICE GIRLS CAN FINISH FIRST redefines the word NICE and provides tools for speaking and setting boundaries, while still being a nice person.

NICE GIRLS CAN FINISH FIRST is for every woman who has felt lousy about herself for being nice after getting taken advantage of or feeling used. And it's for women who want to feel empowered without contradicting natural instincts by being aggressive or unkind. NICE GIRLS CAN FINISH FIRST is for religious and spiritual women who go out of their way to be nice to others with a spiritual intention, but don't like the hurt feelings and anger that pleasing everyone can stoke. God wants you to be nice to yourself too!

NICE GIRLS CAN FINISH FIRST provides step-by-step methods for creating a total lifestyle that supports taming People Pleasing habits and guides women to take control of their lives. The book gives very specific tips for how to handle yourself in more effective ways by:   

• Distinguishing between being NICE and being a people pleaser/DoorMat
• Explaining how to control anger and frustration to handle yourself in ways that get better responses from others
• Offering concrete tools and techniques for modulating your voice, approaching situations with a confident attitude, using more effective words in common situations and other specific ways to get taken more seriously and get more of your needs met
• Showing why smiling and speaking in soft tones gets a point across better
• Confidence boosters for approaching situations in more effective ways.

NICE GIRLS CAN FINISH FIRST is the direct opposite of self-empowerment books that encourage women to develop a no-nonsense personality. It illustrates that women can speak softly, with a smile, and get taken seriously, by taming their people pleasing instincts to become a healthier version of nice. Women tend to get angry and complain when someone does her wrong. Daylle's motto is "EXPLAIN, DON'T COMPLAIN!" Nicely expressing a problem offers a better chance to be heard objectively. NICE GIRLS CAN FINISH FIRST gives specific tips for how to become a Nice Girl on Top in all areas of life, including:

• Setting boundaries with demanding parents
• Staying in control of yourself in romantic situations
• Getting better results from customers service representatives
• Responding to unacceptable behavior or demands from friends
• Handling work situations more effectively
• Learning how to turn down requests in ways that don't alienate
• Responding to unacceptable behavior and MUCH MORE

Daylle learned how to take control of her life and still be a very nice girl. You CAN too! This book is a roadmap to take the reins and guide your life to a happier, more satisfying place where smiles, courtesy and kindness are assets.

Order on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Nice-Girls-Can-Finish-First/dp/0071609075/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251480399&sr=8-1

At Daylle's website: http://www.daylle.com/daylle/bookinfo-nice-girls.html

Today starts a new series: some of the books I've found that will greatly help you sort through some of the 'people issues' you're having as you're planning your wedding.

Irene S. Levine, Ph.D. is a top author in the field of women's friendships, and her blog is a terrific resource for you as you handle the various challenges with your bridesmaids and with friends who might be miffed that they didn't make it into the bridal party. She offers terrific solutions for recharging your friendships and handling the sad realization that it might be time for a change.

So visit her site, check out her blog, and if your female friend issue means a breakup is in store, here's the perfect book for you:

From Irene's website about 'Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend'

"Friendships with other women are integral to our sense of happiness, health, and emotional well-being. At their best, these relationships fill our lives with love and laughter---but they can just as easily lead to intense feelings of sadness, hurt, loss, and shame that are as painful to get over as a breakup with a husband or lover.

What happens to our friendships? Why do some grow richer with time, others disappear, and others come to a crashing, often unanticipated, end? How do you tell the difference between the ones that are keepers that are definitely worth saving and the ones that should be discarded?

In an effort to understand the natural course of our friendships, I surveyed more than 1500 women of all ages, from all walks of life, to learn about their friendships, why some succeed and others fail, and how women can use every friendship, whatever the outcome, to emerge more whole.

With rapid changes in technology and the evolving roles of women, female friendships are more dynamic than ever before. Almost every woman has experienced a fractured friendship: either because she lost contact with someone who once was important to her; because she actively decided to step back from a friendship that changed; because she was unexpectedly dumped by someone else, because she decided she didn't have time for the hassles of a frenemy or toxic friendship, or because she and a friend both agreed their relationship was no longer worth saving."

http://www.thefriendshipblog.com/book

This one is a book that I wrote, and I recommend it here to help you handle the many stresses thrown upon you by the people *around* you: those meddling parents, difficult bridesmaids, demanding guests, and other people who lose their minds when it comes to your wedding. The Bride's Diplomacy Guide gives you scripts on how to talk to your parents, what to say, what not to say, and how to handle mean-spirited comebacks by others. You'll solve your people problems before they really steal your Peace.

You can never get enough reminders of the simple steps it takes to experience more happiness in your life. Somehow, in the hectic pace of our lives, we forget to appreciate how much we have, the people we love, how good things really are. So pick up my next recommended book Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill, and find out the little shifts in mindset that you can make now, to be happier with what's already going on around you. Isn't it amazing that we *forget* to be happy?! This book has some Buddhist insights, so keep that in mind as you consider this book for your reading shelf. Again, you might find a gem of insight, even if you're not Buddhist.

The second book in my collection of Recommended Reading is one that I'm enjoying right now...with so many thoughts and To-Do's swirling in my head, the title of this one caught me right away: Instant Karma. This is just a collection of quick little acts you can take to get your mind off of the wedding, do something nice for someone else that only takes a moment, correct your own course, and have a little bit of fun. I'm just flipping it open and smiling at the suggestion I land on, and while some of the karma suggestions are confusing (buy a handbag on eBay instead of paying retail?), this is a fun little book to have around. It definitely gets you in the Now.

Today starts a new series of books that I recommend for returning you to Planning in Peace. As with any book, you may find a gem or two that stays with you, or you will be profoundly educated and able to shift yourself away from worrying and stressing about every little thing. These are some of the books that I found helpful as my own wedding approached, and it's my hope that they bring you some relief as well...

Starting with book #1, I'm recommending Five Good Minutes in the Evening, which gives you a bunch of great little ideas for chilling out, connecting with your sweetie, removing the stress of the day, transitioning into rest time, and sleeping better. This is one book in the Five Good Minutes series, which I also recommend. Even with a time crunch, you have 5 minutes to try something new and potentially relaxing, right?

Sometimes, escaping your world and your wedding is the perfect way to remove stress and get back to You. A great read with engrossing plots, hysterically funny characters, and just beautiful scenery from another world of nature is the perfect prescription for a Rescue.

I'm 2 months away from my wedding, invitations are out, and things are getting hectic, so I make sure I head off to bed a half hour earlier to lose myself in a terrific novel. It works wonders for me! Here are some of my favorite authors:

Barbara Kingsolver (The Bean Trees is my favorite! Kingsolver captures nature like no one else...I always feel like I've just soaked up such peaceful energy when I read her work)

Anita Shreve

Candace Bushnell

Philippa Gregory (and you thought you had problems with YOUR sister! Read all of the Boleyn books for a fun romp through Tudor times...talk about an escape!)

Sophie Kinsella

and check out my comedic novel "It's My Wedding Too" if you want to stay in wedding world and laugh at it.

Who are your favorite authors or books that other brides can use to escape their wedding stress? Post them in the Comments, since we'd all love to check them out!