Nothing good will happen if you plan to confront a rude bridesmaid or a meddling Mom right when the injury hits....or even if you've been dwelling on that snarky comment all day, getting angrier by the minute.

The old adage 'strike when the iron is hot' doesn't apply during wedding planning! It's a big, big mistake to think that you'll gain an advantage if your 'adversary' hears you in an irate tirade. You'll just be spewing angry, sometimes nonsensical things that only make your injury worse. And mean people feel victorious when they can make you lose your cool.

So step away, give it some time, clear your head a little bit. Simmer down, and then you can confront the rude, pushy, offending person with a better sense of self-control that will allow you to stick to the topic at hand.

A great way to release some of that anger and stress before you speak to them is to write out all of your thoughts - expletives included! -- on paper [so that you can't mistakenly hit send, or have a file on your computer that anyone can see now or in the future]. A nice, angry tell-off letter can get your venting in motion, and you'll never send it. That's one for the fireplace or the shredder after it's done its job for you.

Think of anger as a super-strong perfume you over-apply, engulfing you in a choking cloud. You wouldn't expect anyone to get close to you. Your man would never approach for a kiss, a cuddle or anything else. You've got to let that cloud disperse before you should get near anyone. Writing can get the anger out onto the paper, which is the safest place for your initial rage to be.

Soon, you'll be in a better mindset to make that phone call telling your Mom that you wish she didn't change that cake order behind your back, or to send that e-mail offering your bridesmaid the chance to step out of the bridal party if she's truly that unhappy with how you're planning your wedding. Solutions only come from a peaceful place, so take the steps to get yourself into that peaceful place first before you confront. It doesn't work the other way around.

Everybody does it. Not just stressed-out brides and parents who are forking out thousands of dollars for a very important one-day celebration. In-laws, bridal party members, vendors...everyone has the ability (if not the tendency) to over-react. We live in a pressure cooker world -- our bosses are on our butts, time has seemed to speed up, and even with all of our technology, it seems like we just can't get things done quickly enough.

So that all adds up to short tempers and blowing things out of proportion.

Whatever you're stressed about right now, take a minute to set it in front of you and really observe it. How bad is it really? Is this stressor going to prevent you from getting married? Is it going to end a friendship? Once you've cleared away the big risks, here's your plan to return to a better mindset:

Ask yourself:

1. What are the positives in this? Waiting an extra two weeks for bridesmaid size cards could put you in holiday weekend sale zone, and you might even discover a dress you like even better.

2. How could this be worse? Some brides don't hear from their bridesmaids AT ALL. Some have mothers who have passed away and aren't even here to BE overbearing. Make a list of the 20 ways your situation could be far, far worse and don't be afraid to get creative.

3. How can I react better to the situation at hand? That's usually going to take some patience, which is in short supply for most of us. We don't like waiting, and we don't like waiting for things we FEEL should be taken care of already. So repeat this saying: "All things will happen in their own best time." That just gets you to a mode of acceptance, which is often more than enough to take the pressure away.

Even if someone did something incredibly insensitive or selfish regarding your wedding plans or your life right now -- which hurts all the more while you're in this heightened emotional season -- it's really best for YOU if you can find a way to journal out your feelings and find a way to release what they've done. It does you no good, and in fact hurts your health, to hold a grudge. Do you really want to be this stressed out over something you couldn't prevent and can't change?

Forgiving is the best course of action. Now, entire books have been written on the subject of forgiveness, and in all of them, you'll read that forgiveness is not saying what they did is okay or giving them the freedom to kick you in the stomach again. It's a gift to YOURSELF, permission to let go of the hurt, so that you can proceed with caution when dealing with them in the future (such as not confiding in them about the wedding plans).

People do crappy things. It's a fact of life. But the mistake you make is in marinating in your own anger. So write out your thoughts [better to get them out of your head!], avoiding analyzing the person, and replace that anger and hurt with appreciation that you don't have this kind of trouble with more people, or that your spouse-to-be had your back during the altercation. There has to be a positive in this somewhere. Even if it's the freedom from having a hurtful person 'get you' again in the future...then you can move forward into Planning in Peace

Here's a great way to return to Planning in Peace if you're starting to get stressed (or if you're all-out angry right now): ask your recently-married friends and relatives what they regret about their own wedding planning experiences. First-hand accounts from people closest to you are often the best lessons, so you might hear:

1. "I regret letting my annoying sister get to me so much."

2. "I regret focusing on the money more than the meaning of the day"

3. "I regret bossing my groom around so much."

4. "I regret getting overwhelmed by the To-Do list when it really wasn't so bad compared to work."

5. "I regret trying to be 'nice' and letting other people change my plans to get what they want in the day."

Your friends will be honest with you if you promise them your complete discretion -- very important -- and they'll want to help you return to a better mindset. Regrets stay with you a *long* time so take the steps to remove anything you're doing now that you'll regret later. I know, it's tough to admit your mistakes, but this exercise is so worth it!

And if you have past or current regrets to share, as a way to help others, please post them here in the Comments!