Do you have a bridesmaid who's behaving badly? A Mom who has turned into a Momzilla with the plans? A future mother-in-law who seems unhappy about the fact that there's even going to be a wedding?

Don't bother analyzing her!

When someone's acting badly, your first instinct might be to analyze her, figure out why she's acting this way, attribute it to the fact that the bridesmaid is single, the Mom never had a wedding her way, your future mom-in-law is in a depression...and then you talk to all of your relatives and friends, becoming a panel of psychologists, diagnosing and guessing and assuming...spending hours and days talking about it, getting anxious and upset.

Why do we do this? Because we have good hearts. We're helpers. We feel empathy for those who are obviously having a tough time in life. And we want to fix it.

But you know what? If you are going to enjoy this short, exciting time in your life as you plan your wedding, you're only sucking the joy out of your own experience by devoting any time to analyzing the troublemakers in your world.

The fact is, you're not going to figure out their deal, because they probably don't even know what their deal is. And it's not your job to diagnose depression or single-sadness. Sometimes a troublemaker just wants attention, and this is a great way to get it. Or, they do have a problem, but it's up to them as responsible adults to get it treated.

I'm not saying that you should be callous or uncaring if someone is really having a problem. As the great woman you are, you'll offer your support and be gentle with them. But you won't turn their issues into the majority of your focus. Once you've reached out with a hug, you've done plenty. If they want to continue with the poor-me routine, leave them to find another audience who is not in a peak bliss time of their life.

Just look past the zinger or the pouty performance, wish them well, and move forward to share the company of people who are happy for you, joyful to participate in the wedding plans, and uplifting to you.

It is possible to think too much about those who are downers. They'll often say or do something to bring the spotlight to themselves. But how long you choose to dwell on it....that's up to you. Stopping your analysis habit...that's up to you, too!

Don't try to 'diagnose' the Mom! You may have some really good theories about why your mom or mom-in-law has lost her mind, but it does no good to approach her with 'I know you're just feeling adrift because of empty nest syndrome' or 'I know you weren't happy with your original wedding, so you're trying to get your Do-Over through our wedding now.' Yikes! Especially if you deliver these lines with a dramatic degree of faux-empathy, this is just condescending and will fire up a conflict like you could never imagine. "Who are you to tell me what my 'issue' is?!" is the battle cry of the Mom who is now going to fight you at every step.

Even if you were trying to be understanding, if your intentions were good, it's never a good idea to tell Mom she has issues. So keep your focus on your goals, what you'd like to accomplish as you work with her, and show your dedication to building a relationship with her by taking her out to lunch, or sending her a thank you e-mail.

And think about it...how would you like it if she diagnosed you with "Oh, she's just stressed out because she has cold feet and doesn't really want to get married?"